my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
