that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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