batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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