We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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