please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
