Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
