You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
