She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize