If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
