it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She's the barista slut.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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