Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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