exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize