I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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