How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
