i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
