is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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