How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
