I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
