I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
did i walk over a car last night?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
