idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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