dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
