after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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