i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
