Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
