the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
