chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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