Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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