I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
