Are we in a gay sports bar?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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