I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
