Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
