i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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