do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
