it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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