where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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