My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
