I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
