U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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