im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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