you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
