i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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