i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
