Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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