her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
