Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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