I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
