the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
