2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
