You work out of a Hotel?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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