Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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