brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
