and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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