The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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