I hate your face
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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