The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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