Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
