drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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