You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
