I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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