she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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