I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
