NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
