super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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