O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
