True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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