yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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