My room smells like vodka and shame
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
